Flu Thoughts

Hello everyone Happy Leap Day or whatever you call February 29th. I really think this day should be a holiday because I mean think about it your employer or school gets an extra day of the year out of you for FREE that they don't get the other 3 years before. Either you should get overtime for working it or you should get the day off, that's my stand on the issue.

Anyway so I've had the flu the last couple of days and have been totally useless to the world. Mostly I've just been laying on the futon watching tv and movies and feeling like this sickness will never end. That's how I always feel when I get sick, I forget what it's like to feel normal and having this foreboding that the rest of my life when be lived out in a foggy, aching stupor.

Yesterday I thought I was feeling better so I went to a meeting with my professor to discuss my final project. This was a mistake, she must now think that I am really not too bright because I was kind of dazed and it took me twice as long to understand the concepts that she was talking about as it usually would. Plus on top of that I started worrying about this project a lot, because when I get sick my perspective and rationality kind of goes out the window. This fear started to manifest itself in my dreams that day as well. During a nap I dreamed that my friend Jenn and I went to out professor's houses to talk to them, except the professor's lived in a mall in Amsterdam. It was quite the random dream and I kept getting lost and losing stuff. Does anyone have any interpretations for that?

So one of the movies I have watched during my sickness is called Word Play. It's a documentary about the Crossworder's (or Cruciverbalists, if you will) and the Annual Crossword Tornament. It's something like the documentary Spellbound, which was about the National Spelling Bee, but this is about crossword people (who really aren't that different). Anyway these crossworder's they feature are very very good at solving crosswords, probably the best in the world. Now I myself like solving the New York Times Crossword. Whenever I get a chance I try to solve the Monday and Tuesday puzzles, but that's about all I can do. (They get progressively harder as the week goes on.) But as much as I like trivia and words and puzzles I've come to the conclusion that I'm never going to be great at solving at them. I may be good, even about average, but I'm never going to be among the best.

Take the games boggle and scrabble which I am good at, but since I've been playing them online I've realized just how many people are so much better than I am. So why do I really care, well because I'm a nerd, a competitive nerd. This is kind of a reflection of my life, I'm good at things. I know a lot about a lot of different things, but I'm not great at anything. I'm kind of a jack of all trades, master of none. I don't really have one passion in life. I really envy those people who are so passionate about something and really pursue it, but I'm more like a butterfly fluttering from one flower to the next. Oh well at least I like flowers.